My Food Chain Gang

Our weekend began with the likes of a Christmas play to which we took our two oldest daughters.  The play was Miracle on 34th Street, and we were a little up in the air about bringing our 5-year-old because we want to milk the Santa thing as long as possible – we didn’t want to put ideas in her head about ‘not believing’.  But when it came time to go, we felt too badly to leave her behind, so we had a nice half-family outing without the little ones who wouldn’t have been able to sit through the entire show.

At the play, I was really having a great time.  We ran into more than a few friends, and the seasonal cheer of the almost sold-out audience emitted a wonderful family feel.  The first act of the show was thoroughly enjoyable; everything was so cozy and Christmas-y, and I couldn’t wait to see how Kringle finally proved himself to be authentic (I haven’t seen either version of the movie).  Unfortunately, some unnecessary drama taking place at intermission almost ruined the entire show for me.  I was so upset that I could barely pay attention to the second act.  But as I sat and seethed – and I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry while literally just stuck sitting in the middle of a crowd with no where to go and no way to vent – I began to come to terms with the situation and to actually feel sorry for the person who’d completely overblown a simple misunderstanding and hurt my feelings with her unbecoming actions.  How incredibly sad that her negative attitude cast a cloud over what must have been such hard work by so many to pull off a show of this magnitude.  During the second act, I was thinking about what I was going to say in my blog to vent about it, but now that a few hours have passed, I really don’t need to share all of the ugly details.  As if by miracle, I am completely at peace with the situation – I’m usually not the type to just get over something without hashing it out with the person.  The bottom line is, I truly believe I handled the situation the best way I knew how, and I’m going to pray that the other person can find peace as well.

So all that’s left that needs to be said is, congratulations to those of you who were involved in Miracle on 34th Street; everyone that I know who was involved and who reads this blog did a really super job!  Keep up the great work, and best wishes for the success of the rest of the run of your show!

It all began with my husband suggesting the play Little Shop of Horrors to our community theater’s play-reading committee.  Somehow, they actually chose it and my husband was chosen to direct it.  That was months ago, and the play is slated for production in October, which is rapidly approaching.  Realizing the enormity of the scale of a production like this, we’ve begun to work on it, even though it’s only April.  Among the many challenges we will face are casting, music (do we cram a band into the theater or use pre-recorded music?), blocking / dancing, and props – which are going to be a doozy for this show.  Normally these things are all part of the fun of staging a production, but given a unique set of circumstances, we are in for quite an endeavor – mainly, the fact that we are to perform this thing on a very small stage with an even smaller back stage area.  If you are familiar with the show, then you know that the plant involved is HUGE – it must be big enough to eat a person.  Not only that, but there are actually four of the plants – it starts small and gets bigger during the show, and at least 2 of the Audrey’s are VERY large.  Also challenging will be filling the role of the plant – it is a VERY physical role, as the person actually has to get inside the plant and use all of his/her muscles to move the thing around – very challenging, and it’s not like they will get a lot of glory in that role; their face will never be seen on stage.  I expect it to be challenging to fill such a role in community theater where most all of the actors I know LOVE the glory that comes from a role well-played.  I am really looking forward to the challenge, however, and I think great things can be accomplished!

What we need is a lot of HELP!  Manpower, brains, talents all intersecting to achieve what might seem impossible – to stage an awesome production of Little Shop in a small theater.  The good news is, we’ve already had LOTS of volunteers, with some people actually stepping up to help  already – and it’s only April!  Take JustJ, a fellow blogger for instance.  Yesterday he ventured to Lima Ohio with us, an hour and a half away (thought it took much longer than that to get back – you’ll read why later),  to pick up Audrey II, the man-eating plant needed for the show.  And it was an adventure, to say the least.  Let’s begin by saying that the three quotes I’d gotten from costume shops and other theaters to RENT an Audrey range from $900-$1200 – WAY out of our theater’s price range.  So when I found a theater down  in Lima who was willing to see us all four Audreys plus some miscellaneous props for $250 to KEEP, not rent, I was excited and charged ahead with the arrangement like an idiot who made a New Year’s resolution to curtail her bad procrastinating habits.  Was $250 too good to be true?  I guess that’s something I should have thought about before we made the drive.  Their $250 Audrey II was a heap of foam mess on the floor.  They did throw in a curtain for the last scene of the show, a huge (and awesomely scary looking) dentist’s drill, some “seedlings” for the flower shop and a flower display case, but the Audrey II was in a state of …  well, I’m going to say disrepair, but only because today is our 10th wedding anniversary and I’m in a good mood.  But you know what?  We’re going to set up a PMS Team (Props and Movable Set Team – what were you thinking?) who will start working on repairing Audrey II and breathing some life back into her ASAP.  I am going to be totally optimistic, and that’s why we’re starting so early – it’s going to be a GREAT show!

Back to the adventure portion of this post…  We loaded the heap of foam that was Audrey into JustJ’s pickup truck, along with all of the other props, and it all fit!  Well, sort of…

Of course it had to be somewhat windy yesterday, and that complicated things.  We’re driving along, and next thing we know, JustJ and my husband (who was riding shotgun) are seeing pieces of Audrey flying down the road in their sideview mirrors!  So we pull over, and my husband goes to retrieve whatever lost pieces of Audrey he can find while JustJ adjusts the tarp that we had to stop and buy earlier in the day.  My husband didn’t quite get all of Audrey’s pieces, so don’t be surprised if you read about little man-eating plants sprouting up somewhere in the farm fields outside of Lima, Ohio!  We get back in the car for take two and didn’t make it more than a few miles before Audrey is flapping in the wind again.  The cycle continues, and now Audrey is breaking (eating?  Nah, she has a taste for only flesh) bungee cords too, so we have to stop at the first hardware store we came across – a little hole in the wall place in Bufu Cooper Ohio, whereever that is…

The good news is that only seven stops later, we finally made it back to the theater with Audrey, just a little worse for wear.  Hey, she needed much repair in the first place, so what’s the difference?  Now she is ours and she’s here!  So any takers for the PMS Team?  And thanks, JustJ for making the trek and keeping your cool during Audrey’s adventure.  A producer job is yours if you want it!

As you may know, we are heavily involved in our local community theater.  For each play in which we were involved, part of the fun was to see what the newspaper critic would publish about it.  Well, the newspaper reviewer has been canned, and so my husband was asked to take over.  Not wanting the responsibility of the fallout that one might incur when writing about specific individuals in a small town (not to mention his extremely busy work schedule), he agreed to only do the review about the most recent play because he and I produced it.  The following is my husband’s review debut that was (supposed to be) published in the newspaper, and I’ll go ahead and give myself a secondary byline for editing.  I must note however, that those of you who have seen this particular edition of the paper might notice more than a few differences between the two reviews.  And my husband did not write the paragraph about his credentials that appears at the end of the print version – the newspaper wrote it with info my husband supplied when asked how he was qualified to do the review.  It’s just funny that for the past few years, we’ve been assuming the quirks of our play reviews were the fault of the reviewer when in actuality, the newspaper changes much and does lots of editing!

Don’t Hug Me is a Winter Treat

This past Wednesday evening my wife and I had the privilege of attending a preview of Don’t Hug Me, a comedy by Paul Olson.

As we took our seats, my eyes were immediately drawn to the brilliantly detailed set.  Just a quick glance at the rustic wood paneling, Paul Bunyan style restroom sign, and moose head beer tap and I was instantly transported to a northern Minnesota bar.

 The show opens with owners of “The Bunyan” bar Gunner Johnson (played to near perfection by Mike Roberts) and his wife and co-owner Clara (played by stage veteran Mary Beth Snider) caught outside in the cold.  We see Clara fumbling through her purse for the keys as a freezing Gunner becomes increasingly impatient, declaring he will break down the door if they cannot get in soon.  This first little scene sets the stage for the show perfectly.  Minnesota gets cold in the winter, and Gunner is tired of it.  He wants to escape the frigid temperatures and move to Florida, but Clara’s heart is in Minnesota .  This conflict is the basic central plot throughout Don’t Hug Me and Roberts and Snider deliver it with a very nice chemistry together.  Their bantering back-and-forth comes across as genuine and is also very funny.

 Ms. Snider does an excellent job portraying Clara with a wonderful balance between loving wife and strong-willed independent woman while Roberts is very effective in making the audience feel Gunner’s frustration, as well as the cold outside air.  In fact, even under the heat of the stage lights, the entire cast of Don’t Hug Me does a great job of selling the cold wintery theme. Whenever one of Don’t Hug Me‘s colorful characters enters or exits the bar, you can almost feel the chilly Minnesota draft coming in from outside.

Shelley Scantlen portrays Bernice Lundstrom, a waitress at “The Bunyan” and fiancé of Kanute Gunderson, played by Keith Robinson.   Anyone who has seen Scantlen on stage before expects an outstanding performance, and she delivers.  Her accent is pure northern Minnesota, and she brings a naivety to Bernice that is delightful.  The sincerity in which she sings “I Wanna go to the Mall of America” is downright hilarious.  Shelley’s voice is amazing as always, and her duets with Clara and Aarvid are a riot.  Opposite Scantlen, Robinson is very strong as Kanute, a man whose world unravels with astonishing speed, although he’s quick to remind everyone “I played Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls”.  Robinson takes us through Kanute’s transformation from, egotistical jerk who has it all, to loveable loser who lost it all (give or take five stores) masterfully.  When he teamed up with Roberts (Gunner) for the duet “You Dirty Piece of…” it was difficult to hear parts of the song over the sound of my own laughter. 

Enter Denver Henderson as traveling karaoke, err, “Life Style System” salesman Aarvid Gisselsen and trouble starts to brew (pardon the pun).  Aarvid wants to sell the LSS-562, a state-of-the-art karaoke system, to the Johnsons and claims it will save their bar which has been suffering in the customer department.  From the moment he enters, Henderson takes command of the stage.  He does an exceptional job, playing the role of a modern day “Music Man” with charm and panache.   Henderson is able to make Aarvid very likeable without compromising the character’s door-to-door salesman savvy.  He also gives a tenderness to the character that makes you root for him to get the girl; the girl being Bernice.  The moment Aarvid first meets Bernice is very well staged.  One look at each other and the ice begins to melt and the sparks start to fly.  Like Roberts and Snider, Scantlen and Henderson have great chemistry, and their duet, the Sven Yorgensen classic “Take a Chance”, is a hoot thanks in part to some hilarious choreography by co-director Crystal Bowers.

Complete with witty one-liners like “Oh, for spankin’ the neighbor’s baby”, hilarious songs like “Victim of My Y Chromosome”, and even a love triangle, Don’t Hug Me is fun from start to finish.  My wife and I had a great time, and so will you. Bravo to directors Zach McAfee and Crystal Bowers along with the cast and crew of Don’t Hug Me for putting together a real gem.  They take to you to Minnesota in the dead of winter and warm your heart. 

Don’t Hug Me is performing at the Little Theatre December 5 – 14.  Tickets are $12 for adults with a discount for students and seniors.  Reservations are recommended.

During our community theater’s run of The Nerd, they designated one of the nights “80′s Night” since the play was set in 1985.  I enjoyed the opportunity to visit the local thrift stores with a mission - looking for components to complete my 80′s look.  2 thrift stores are within walking distance so I just packed up the little ones in the double stroller and off we went.  I found things with ease – a gaudy Mickey Mouse sweatshirt that I cut up to make it off-the-shoulder, a black lacy Madonna-like skirt, jelly shoes, hoop earrings, leggings, ankle socks…  I was ready to go!

And of course, what 80′s look is complete without makeup and lots of it?  I read a hint on a website about dressing for 80′s parties – “In the 80′s, we didn’t accessorize – we “excessorized” and LOVED it!”  So I braided my wet hair in the morning, and by evening when I took out the braids, I acheived the “crimped” hair look I was going for.  I pulled out the electric blue nail polish (though I ended up regretting that later since I forgot to buy nail polish remover and I was stuck with electric blue nail polish for a few days until I had the time to get to Walmart – OOPS), and I piled on the purple and blue eye shadow.  It was lots of fun to get dressed up like a goofball – I may consider being an 80′s time machine traveler for Halloween.  But anyway, while I was getting ready for 80′s night, I had a flock of admirers.  My 3 little girls aren’t used to me putting on makeup, dressing up, painting my nails, or spending lots of time on my hair (note to self – next time I dress 80′s, I need some Aquanet!) – I’m just not the kind of gal who does – or has the time to do, for that matter - these things regularly.  It was like a whole new world for them, and they gawked in awe as they watched me get ready.  My oldest kept running up to her room to look for jewelry to use – everyone wanted to help, which was like a whole new world for me.

80′s night was a few weeks ago, and the girls are still asking to have their nails painted and for us to do each other’s makeup, much to my husband’s dismay.  He’s never liked makeup and says he wants our girls to be at least 18 before they can wear it.  I’ve tried explaining to him that there is something innate in little girls that make them like dressing up and putting makeup on – it’s just how little girls are made.  Being a male, he doesn’t get it of course, and so I imagine we’ll have many a debate in this house once the girls get to the teenage years and want to wear makeup regularly.  For now, I don’t have a problem using it as a “toy” once in a while, as long as it’s supervised and I can guide my girls to having the right opinions about makeup, especially when it comes to self-esteem issues - makeup does not make you prettier, you do not NEED makeup, it can be harmful to your face if you use it incorrectly, etc.  So until they become teenagers, this is a way we can have fun together, and I also view it as an important bonding experience.  One of the things I remember doing with my sister the most while we were growing up is her doing my hair and makeup, and I don’t remember ever fighting while we were doing that.  Anyone who knows my girls realizes how much we need an activity that Taylor and Sammie can do together without fighting!  So if you see me walking around with a hideous makeup job someday, just remember that my face was probably painted by an 8, 4, or 2 year old!

**YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!**

I felt too restless to write blogs, but I’m too tired to take the kids anywhere, so it’s either write in my blog or sit here on my computer looking up scary ailments that could be afflicting my husband.  So blogging it is…

As you may have read on other tangents.org blogs, our community theater is about to open its production of The Nerd – an (I still hate putting the word “an” in front of hilarious, but oh well) hilarious comedy written by Larry Shue.  My husband is portraying the Nerd, a character named Rick Steadman, who is without any social ettiquette whatsoever, to put it mildly.  He does an excellent job at the part, if I do say so myself, and that’s a compliment, really it is – he’s not a nerd in real life!  In the play, Rick has an autographed picture of Hugh Downs, and all this time during rehearsal, I’ve been wondering, who is Hugh Downs?  The name sounds familiar, but I didn’t know anything about him, so I looked him up.  Turns out he is a fellow Ohioan, born in Akron, went to high school in Lima, and he’s still alive.  He anchored the newsmagazine show 20/20, hosted the Today show, was the announcer for The Tonight Show with Jack Paar, and he also hosted the game show Concentration.

So having an autographed picture of Hugh Downs is quite nerdy.  But then again, I looked him up on wikipedia, so what does that make me?

There’s a story that’s been in the news lately that I think would make an awesome play…  now I just have to get my husband, an accomplished playwright, to pen it…

Have you heard the one about the dueling newscasters?  For 4 years, Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane co-anchored the evening news together at KYW-TV, the CBS affiliate in Philadelphia.  Last December, Lane was fired because she allegedly got into a scuffle with an NYPD officer.  Somehow, details of her arrest were leaked to a Philadelphia Daily News reporter, along with other details of her personal life which has included 2 divorces.  She complained to the tv station that someone was reading her emails, but they treated her as if she was paranoid.

It turns out that her co-anchor, Mr. Mendte, had bought a keystroke-logging device to get her passwords in August 2006 and was intercepting e-mails from Lane’s two personal accounts and one work account.  He was fired also – a shame because the duo was making gains on their competitor, longtime leader news leader WPVI-TV, the ABC affiliate in the area.  Mendte is now facing criminal charges and has pleaded guilty to one count of illegally accessing a computer.  His motivation?  Jealousy over his co-anchor’s $780,000 yearly salary because his was only a measly $700,000.  I had no idea news anchors make that much!  But anyway, there’s an extra little tidbit to this story that wouldn’t even need to be embelished when writing it into a play: Mendte’s wife Dawn Stensland is also a news anchor; she works at the Fox affiliate in Philadelphia.  Coming to a stage near you!

Ok, so thespianism is not a real word, but it should be!  My husband has been acting in plays since an early age, and I was even in shows way back when before the stage fright got ahold of me, so it’s only natural that we’ve been waiting for the chance to get our daughters involved in plays and community theater.  Now that our oldest has finally reached the minimum age to participate in the local summer children’s theater, we find ourselves back in the world of rehearsals 3 nights a week – yuck to that part of it.

But we are greatly anticipating her stage debut in the Phantom Tollbooth…  though judging from her audition, she is more like me on stage than her father.  Hopefully she’ll overcome her shyness because she will have lots of fans in the audience!  Performances are August 1, 2, and 3rd in case you’re wondering!

Since my first post about defunct tv was SO lengthy, I had to omit some of my favorite tv shows from yester-year which were so great they warrant a mention and another post.

The Bozo Show – If you grew up in Chicagoland, this show was an icon.  Some people in Ohio have told me it was on tv here too, but I know it just wasn’t the same as growing up with Bozo next door.  First of all, EVERYONE you knew went to see the Bozo show live.  The girl I went with was put on the waiting list when she was in utero, and we were 9 or 10 years old before her mother finally got the tickets that allowed us entry into the show.  But I’m just glad I got the experience, and I’m even more glad that I was old enough to remember seeing Bozo live – it was really neat.  I was really scared of a character named Wizzo though, and I hoped he wouldn’t be there on the day I was…  Ironically, I don’t remember if he was in that episode or not.  My husband went to a Bozo show taping of course, since he was also a Chicagoland kid, but neither of us were on the Grand Prize Game.  There were other characters on the show, mainly Bozo’s clown sidekick, Cookie, and also a puppet dog named Cuddly Duddly.  I think I’m going to have to dig out the tape of the show I was on, just for memories…  So was Bozo aired nationally?  Since it was so hugely popular in our area, it’s hard to say; it’s not like there was an internet back then or like I traveled a lot or had pen pals as a kid to ask.  I would guess so, since lots of people have heard of it, but I’m sure it was nothing like the phenomena it reached in Chicagoland.

Land of the Lost – Saturday morning tv at its finest.  This was a live show about a family who was transported back in time to contend with all kinds of prehistoric creatures like dinosaurs, etc.  While looking up the show on imdb, I learned that there were 2 versions.  One that aired from 1974-76, and one from 1991-92.  I will dismiss the 90′s remake since I wasn’t a big fan.  But as for the original, I barely remember it but I know that I LOVED it!  I must have watched it in syndication however, because I was not around to see it from ’74-’76.  But, when I saw the photos and synopsis of the episodes, I know that’s the show I watched and loved.  Interesting note – they are currently make a movie version due out next year starring Will Ferrell as the dad!  I am a big fan of Will Ferrell’s.  I think he is great in almost everything I’ve seen him in; he’s always funny and surprisingly versatile.  He stars in one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time, Elf.  So I am anxious to see what they do with this remake of a classic tv show for our generation.  I think the movie is slated to be a comedy, but with Will Ferrell as its star, that’s no surprise.  I wonder if they’ll do what they did with the Brady Bunch movies and make it a satire of the tv show?  It was very effective and funny when they did it in the Brady Bunch movies, but it would seem difficult to pull off for many tv shows without being too over the top.  With the cheesy sets and special effects and costumes of the ’70′s Land of the Lost, satire might be a good avenue to explore for the movie remake.  It’d be cool to see the movie set in the 70′s – well, the family gets sent back in time, but if the family were still from the ’70′s…  Guess we’ll just have to wait until 2009 to see!

The Littles – A catchy theme song which began, “We are the Littles…”  It was an awesome Saturday morning cartoon (which of course spawned into toys, lunchboxes, books, and even a few movies) about a family of small people with pointy ears and tails who lived within the walls of a Bigg (literally, this was the surname of the family!) family’s house.  The plots revolved around Tom and Lucy Little, a brother and sister who tried to keep their dopey aviator cousin Dinky out of trouble along with their Grandpa Little.  The Littles had rigged up their own little world within the walls of the Bigg’s home which they entered through a light socket, and it was neat to see how they used normal size objects to make things they needed.  They would often enlist the help of Henry Bigg, the human regular-size kid who lived in the house, since he was the only human to know about the Littles.  Cute show – I could probably find it on youtube or somewhere like that if I looked. 

Shirt Tales – Adorable little animal characters who began as a line of greeting cards were turned into a cartoon.  Their shirts would display different sayings to express their feelings; such as Hug Me, Cuddly, or Dig Me (worn by a mole).   A really cute cartoon which aired on the USA network as part of its Cartoon Express, of which Pac Man the cartoon was also a part; see below.

Pac Man - A cartoon based upon the popular video game.  I don’t remember much about it, but I know I liked it, and it didn’t last long.  I think if I were to see this cartoon today as an adult, it would be dumb, whereas Shirt Tales might be cute.  I haven’t checked youtube, but they both just might be there; it seems likely.